Is it okay

to tell a white guy who asks you "out" that you don't date white guys?

I guess for me, it's hard to make the presumption that the hangout is "like that."

---

Went to Maui this past weekend - it was a whirlwind of performances, but such a great experience. Good bonding time with Sensei and Chizuko and Emi too.

More later.

(Also, a quick shoutout to Nessa, Kirstie, Mr. Hyphen, and Lisa. haha. Thanks for your uplifting comments! Will update on Trask book soon)

A Proper Hawaii Post, finally.

So I apologize to those of you who have been kind enough to read - I promised updates about Hawai'i, but for lack of a camera for documentation, I've just been spewing inner thoughts and complaining about my busy schedule.

I decided, to start, I would update on things that have already happened a while ago - my first week in Honolulu with my family (we family vacationed the first week here), and then a couple of other pictures from outings.

Here goes!

My family stayed in Waikiki, at the Doubletree, and one of our outings (probably the best) was to the Polynesian Cultural Center. Think of this as...a theme park of Pacific Islands, like Disneyland, only instead of Tomorrowland, Fantasyland, and Frontierland, you have...Fiji, Aotearoa, Samoa, Tonga, etc.

Pictures are above captions.

There was a "canoe pageant" - think, canoe parade, where each island had a feature dance/performance. Pretty cool. I chose Samoa's picture because they're wearing purple, my favorite color in the whole world. And each island seemed to have a "personality." I liked theirs best.

Mixed feelings about the Cultural Center - I think the education part is pretty legit, but because it's so geared to tourists, it's sort of a double edged sword, if you know what I mean.

We also went to the Bishop Museum - it has exhibitions on Native Hawaiian culture and history, artifacts, and so on.

With Mom and Dad. Yays.

With sister! Cool sculptures.

We also got to visit a beach - Lanikai Beach, which is way pretty and very empty (it's got no facilities, so not that many people frequent it. Most go to Hanauma Bay, which is a couple of miles away). Sis's pics captures some of the beauty.

We happened upon the part of the beach that didn't have...the part of the beach where you'd lay down and chill on your towel, so here I am like what the fuck. I want to swim but not stay wet the whole day.


Once we found what we were looking for though, the swim was amazing. The water was a perfect temperature, so clean, and so fun to swim in. Too bad I haven't been back since! In time, though, in time.

I also broke my pescatarian diet here in Hawaii - a turning over of a new leaf, and I was just craving bacon like hell.

I just said fuck it and indulged. It was the most amazing feeling in my life until after I finished my meal. I didn't get sick...I just felt greasy. It's better now. I can have Volcano Tacos from Taco Bell. That shit is good. I had four of them tonight.

So forward a couple of weeks, and my new friend Aichan, who's on the taiko team, decided to take me and Kelsey, one my roommates, out on a touristy journey.


We ended up at the Dole Plantation! Another technically fucked up tourist exploit, but eh. Aichan was nice enough to take us, and it was cool to at least see. Lots of white people. From left to right, that's Kelsey, Raceson (Aichan's son), and yours truly.
DOLE WHIP. Exactly like what you can get at Disneyland, except huge and totally worth it.

Then, to SHRIMP!! In North Shore there's a shitload of shrimp trucks that serve amazing garlic shrimp. Romy's isn't a truck, but the shrimp is still amazing. This is what Kelsey calls my shrimp face, with mah hair all messy and shiet. SHRIMPSIES!!!!

Yah so that's all for now. In case you haven't noticed, these pics (and way more) are also on facebook. But I just thought I'd add some Candice commentary to add some relevance to this blog.

Also, watched Katt Williams on Comedy Central tonight. He's fucking hilarious! Highly recommend watching.

I get my new camera from Aya in the next week or two, so expect more updates after that. Meanwhile, thank GOD for gchat.

Going to the movies with my kids tomorrow for some hangout time. There's this $1 theater in downtown Honolulu that shows out-of-theaters-but-not-yet-on-DVD movies. Awesome. And, I promised them popcorn. On me.

Down with the system! Any system!

I usually try and avoid double-posting in one day because I feel like it trivializes the first, but I can't wait the 8 minutes for it to be another day. I just wanted to post before I forgot, that this is my new book:


And when my boss saw it, he jokingly asked, "Are you an anarchist?"

This is my law office boss, who's cool and all that, admitted he was middle of the road politically and in life. And I told him, "mm, not quite. But anti-capitalist."

I guess this attorney is pretty representative of (or at least, stereotypical of) local Hawaiians out here. Shame.

The injustices suffered here are eerily similar to that of American Indians, and I predict that this book will make me angrier at Hawaii (politically).


Gotta love it.

Check it

Scott posted this too, but I'll do it anyway. I got it from UCLA folks. (And - congrats Scott on finalist-ing for Mr. Hyphen!)

This is Your Nation on White Privilege

Sep 13, 2008 By Tim Wise
Wise's ZSpace Page / ZSpace (also on his blog at www.timwise.org )

For those who still can't grasp the concept of white privilege, or who
are constantly looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it,
perhaps this list will help.

White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol
Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your
family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you
or your parents, because "every family has challenges," even as black
and Latino families with similar "challenges" are regularly typified
as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is when you can call yourself a "fuckin' redneck,"
like Bristol Palin's boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone
messes with you, you'll "kick their fuckin' ass," and talk about how
you like to "shoot shit" for fun, and still be viewed as a
responsible, all-American boy (and a great son-in-law to be) rather
than a thug.

White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six
years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of,
then returned to after making up some coursework at a community
college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to
achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as
unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first
place because of affirmative action.

White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town
smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state
with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island
of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people
don't all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S.
Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means
you're "untested."

White privilege is being able to say that you support the words "under
God" in the pledge of allegiance because "if it was good enough for
the founding fathers, it's good enough for me," and not be immediately
disqualified from holding office--since, after all, the pledge was
written in the late 1800s and the "under God" part wasn't added until
the 1950s--while believing that reading accused criminals and
terrorists their rights (because, ya know, the Constitution, which you
used to teach at a prestigious law school requires it), is a dangerous
and silly idea only supported by mushy liberals.

White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make
people immediately scared of you. White privilege is being able to
have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that
wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto was "Alaska
first," and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family,
while if you're black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11
memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of school,
people immediately think she's being disrespectful.

White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and
the work they do--like, among other things, fight for the right of
women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end
to child labor--and people think you're being pithy and tough, but if
you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month
governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in
college--you're some how being mean, or even sexist.

White privilege is being able to convince white women who don't even
agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your
running mate anyway, because all of a sudden your presence on the
ticket has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made
them give your party a "second look."

White privilege is being able to fire people who didn't support your
political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or being
a typical politician who engages in favoritism, while being black and
merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in
Chicago means you must be corrupt.

White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose
pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize
George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly
Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian
theological principles into government, and who bring in speakers who
say the conflict in the Middle East is God's punishment on Jews for
rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you're just a good
church-going Christian, but if you're black and friends with a black
pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of
Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S. foreign
policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on
black people, you're an extremist who probably hates America.

White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when asked by
a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for asking you
such a "trick question," while being black and merely refusing to give
one-word answers to the queries of Bill O'Reilly means you're dodging
the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and nuanced.

White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has
anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being
black and experiencing racism is, as Sarah Palin has referred to it a
"light" burden.

And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly
allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W.
Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing,
people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is
increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white voters
aren't sure about that whole "change" thing. Ya know, it's just too
vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, which
is very concrete and certain.

White privilege is, in short, the problem.

Tim Wise is the author of White Like Me (Soft Skull, 2005, revised
2008), and of Speaking Treason Fluently, publishing this month, also
by Soft Skull. For review copies or interview requests, please reply
to publicity@softskull.com

Goodbye, My Almost Lover, You Can Go to Hell

this will never happen again, by the way

megcand writes:

Hawaii can be great, but I think more than anything I"m confused about what I'm supposed to be feeling and what I actually am feeling.

I miss home, I miss my family, I miss my friends - not enough to want to leave - but enough to make me wonder how long it will take to adjust.

I feel unfulfilled in some way and I dont really know why or how. I just feel - not right. Not completely happy. Satisfied, or well, maybe not even that. I can stand things this way, but if it continues I wont be happy with this experience, and I dont want that.

Maybe I'm just tired, but nights bring such emo thoughts and its weird. I dunno. I dont even know what I"m writing, I'm just tired. I dont even care about typos or whatever and I'm usually so meticulous about that stuff.

DAH! I know, trust myself, my instincts, that inner guidance - I think I do feel it around the corner, but I dunno when it'll come to me, and I kind of want it soon.

all in due time, i suppose.

There is no secret ingredient

Life here is full of adjustments, of that there is no doubt. I've just been trying to get used to, well, my schedule mostly, but also, I dunno, just, a whole new life.

For one thing, all of those things they say about collegiate taiko - about the "real world" taiko not being that, about other taiko not being that - that's true. Collegiate taiko is not TP, and TP is not KETE. I guess all in all, taiko groups are just not the same.

More than the rigorous schedules and expectations, which are exactly what I was looking for in a year-long taiko experience to help me become more experienced, well-rounded, and well, good, I think I most have to adjust to the new personality of this taiko team. It's the black to the white I knew before, the all-new to the all-too-familiar.

Although I miss things about Kyodo, and definitely some things about TP, and even Prota, I think I'm trying to take it all in, in a matter that's - well, I guess, going to help me make the most of this experience. I already feel things about me changing, physically, and I'm constantly learning new things about what taiko IS, what taiko means, and what taiko can be - both to KETE, and to me.

I could go on forever about that - but bottom line - it's a whole new game.

I also...miss kendo. And that's weird to me, because I always think of having chosen Taiko over Kendo - Kendo was that thing I was forced to do, all these years growing up, until I got to UCLA, found taiko, and made a choice.

Taiko is to Kenny Sensei what Kendo is to my dad, and I think making that connection - missing my family, missing that culture back home - is also making me miss Kendo. The disciplined culture of Japanese Taiko is very similar to that of Kendo - hierachical, yes, but that aside - very strongly tied to Japanese culture, one that I grew up with in that kendo world. I think I also relate Kendo to a part of my life, a part of me, that a lot of my college friends don't know - I did Kendo with the UCLA team for a year, but after that, I was Kyodo-NSU-APC Candice. Not Kendo Sayuri. Definitely different, and a part of myself I'm thinking of reclaiming.

Maybe Hawaii is a crossroads of what seemed before like two completely separate parts of my life, and my time here will let me patch the two together, for a more holistic understanding of what my 22 years mean.

Deep, huh? I'm getting a headache.

--

I've also met people, seen things, done things, that strangely, in the most cliche way possible, have begun to teach me to appreciate all the things I've always taken for granted.

Like - working in a family law firm? Makes me so grateful, and almost baffled - that my parents have stayed together, seemingly happily, and have done so well together the past 25 years.

Meeting an amazingly strong woman, who's been through so much hardship, and lost loved ones suddenly, makes me feel lucky to still have my family, and have them well.

Being away from organizing work and in a society that perpetuates its own oppression makes me see how much of a gem LA progressive work is.

It's kind of weird - even surreal - and right now I guess I don't really know what to make of it.

Kung Fu Panda is a good movie, and I need to eat. Thai curry and sticky rice, here I come.

GNN

Anderson Cooper was on Sesame Street.

Love it.