Kind of anticlimactic for me, the day of Election 2008 - a long awaited day - I've already sent in my absentee ballot like a week ago. Now it's just a waiting game. I'm nervous for November 5th, and can only wonder what might happen.
If McPalin takes over I don't know what I'd do. I might have to resort to moving away, like Scott threatens to do. It's very possible that we as community organizers and activists will be needed more than ever if that were to happen, who knows?
My battery is dying, so it's a race against the amount of energy I've got left in this thing.
It really has been a long while since my last update - I guess you could say I've been having too much fun to be critical about the things around me. I mean, the critical lenses haven't gone away, that's for sure...but there's been more roommate bonding, which has left me even LESS time to sit down and bloggies.
All is well, I guess. I'm constantly tired, but so goes Hawaii life for this California transplant. I've also got 8 bug bites on my body and COUNTING from the past 3 consecutive nights. Going to try another sleeping location tonight, and hope that bodes better for my body. But hey, I can't help it if my blood is delish. (okay that sounded better in my head)
Halloween on Friday should prove to be an experience, if anything. Waikiki, here we come. Maybe I can manage to get pics up here, costumes are pretty ready to go and I am just excited to get CRUNK. After this week I am so ready. READY! Actually, the week isn't even over yet and I'm hella ready.
ANYWAYS. It is 12:40 and if I don't sleep soon I will pass out on the computer at the law office tomorrow. That will not be a pretty sight for anyone around.
OUR WORLD WILL BE A DIFFERENT PLACE A WEEK FROM TODAY! Or at least, so we think. If it's not something is very wrong with our society. But uh, hey! It's hella fucked up anyways. So what the hell kind of a difference would it make? When are people going to realize what kind of a REALITY we live in these days!?
Nighttime delusions.
okay bedtime here I come.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Creating Change
Mercury Retrograde, Lisa says! And Lisa, that sounds like a hella good explanation to me. CRAZY STUFF! This astrology biz trips me out sometimes.
This explains it all.
It is most definitely a huge time of reflection for me - has been since a couple weeks after my arrival here. About the world, my world, my communities, my life.
And I have decided that if I am going to happy for the rest of my life, I need to work in the community, organizing and working towards effecting change. If I don't, I will quite possibly go crazy.
Meanwhile, I leave you with this longer quote from Haunani-Kay Trask's book, the first paragraph of an essay entitled "Lovely Hula Hands: Corporate Tourism and the Prostitution of Hawaiian Culture." It might make you think twice about saying I'm lucky I'm in Hawaii for all the reasons most people would say it.
I am certain that most, if not all, Americans have heard of Hawai'i and have wished, at some time in their lives, to visit my Native land. But I doubt that the history of how Hawai'i came to be territorially incorporated, and economically, politically, and culturally subordinated to the United States is known to most Americans. Nor is it common knowledge that Hawaiians have been struggling for over twenty years to achieve a land base and some form of political sovereignty on the same level as American Indians. Finally, I would imagine that most Americans could not place Hawai'i or any other Pacific island on a map of the Pacific. But despite all this appalling ignorance, five million Americans will vacation in my homeland this year and the next, and so on, into the foreseeable capitalist future. Such are the intended privileges of the so-called American standard of living: ignorance of and yet power over one's relations to Native peoples. Thanks to postwar American imperialism, the ideology that the United States has no overseas colonies and is, in fact, the champion of self-determination the world over holds no greater sway than in the United States itself. To most Americans, then, Hawai'i is THEIRS: to use, to take, and above all, to fantasize about long after the experience.
This explains it all.
It is most definitely a huge time of reflection for me - has been since a couple weeks after my arrival here. About the world, my world, my communities, my life.
And I have decided that if I am going to happy for the rest of my life, I need to work in the community, organizing and working towards effecting change. If I don't, I will quite possibly go crazy.
Meanwhile, I leave you with this longer quote from Haunani-Kay Trask's book, the first paragraph of an essay entitled "Lovely Hula Hands: Corporate Tourism and the Prostitution of Hawaiian Culture." It might make you think twice about saying I'm lucky I'm in Hawaii for all the reasons most people would say it.
I am certain that most, if not all, Americans have heard of Hawai'i and have wished, at some time in their lives, to visit my Native land. But I doubt that the history of how Hawai'i came to be territorially incorporated, and economically, politically, and culturally subordinated to the United States is known to most Americans. Nor is it common knowledge that Hawaiians have been struggling for over twenty years to achieve a land base and some form of political sovereignty on the same level as American Indians. Finally, I would imagine that most Americans could not place Hawai'i or any other Pacific island on a map of the Pacific. But despite all this appalling ignorance, five million Americans will vacation in my homeland this year and the next, and so on, into the foreseeable capitalist future. Such are the intended privileges of the so-called American standard of living: ignorance of and yet power over one's relations to Native peoples. Thanks to postwar American imperialism, the ideology that the United States has no overseas colonies and is, in fact, the champion of self-determination the world over holds no greater sway than in the United States itself. To most Americans, then, Hawai'i is THEIRS: to use, to take, and above all, to fantasize about long after the experience.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Um so
WHAT. a. day.
It was just rough, in general, for a lot of reasons I can't really talk about.
But it was also great, more in the latter half of the day. It was seriously, in all earnestness, the most ridiculous, crazy, nonsensical, stressful day I have ever had, I think, in my whole life. One of those, everything is out of place and nothing's going right days.
So friends. Kelsey was trying really hard NOT to pass out today after our run. That was scary. I'm just glad she was okay. And then Aya got hit by a goddamned car! What the hell! But she is also okay. So double PHEW there.
Aya and I joke about her life as a J drama. She has had many adventure on that bike (and with boyfriend). hahahahaha okay only like one other person will get that so I definitely just laughed at that by myself.
Saw Taikoproject folks, which was uber exciting!! I was glad to see Yumi, Kitty, Jen, Brian, and then meet Steph. Good times.
Practice was pretty refreshing today too.
Did I ever explain how huge cockroaches are here? It's insane. These things are like rats. Sizewise.
That's fucking sick. Not my own picture, but yes they are HUGENORMOUS. I'm going to have nightmares now, so enjoy the damn picture!
::EDIT the picture was so disgusting and so in danger of giving me nightmares that I deleted it. If you really want to see, google "enormous cockroach." It's the one picture of a huge one in disturbing detail.::
I definitely almost broke the washing machine today trying to wash my bedsheets. It was like rocking and making loud thumping noises. I had to take stuff out, and then all the wet stuff I removed created a river in our living room. Lovely.
Welcome to my Hawaii adventures. It is ridiculous. And fun. And then not fun. And really tiring. And then fun again.
Pictures coming soon. The best thing to do is keep a lookout on facebook. K thanks.
It was just rough, in general, for a lot of reasons I can't really talk about.
But it was also great, more in the latter half of the day. It was seriously, in all earnestness, the most ridiculous, crazy, nonsensical, stressful day I have ever had, I think, in my whole life. One of those, everything is out of place and nothing's going right days.
So friends. Kelsey was trying really hard NOT to pass out today after our run. That was scary. I'm just glad she was okay. And then Aya got hit by a goddamned car! What the hell! But she is also okay. So double PHEW there.
Aya and I joke about her life as a J drama. She has had many adventure on that bike (and with boyfriend). hahahahaha okay only like one other person will get that so I definitely just laughed at that by myself.
Saw Taikoproject folks, which was uber exciting!! I was glad to see Yumi, Kitty, Jen, Brian, and then meet Steph. Good times.
Practice was pretty refreshing today too.
Did I ever explain how huge cockroaches are here? It's insane. These things are like rats. Sizewise.
That's fucking sick. Not my own picture, but yes they are HUGENORMOUS. I'm going to have nightmares now, so enjoy the damn picture!
::EDIT the picture was so disgusting and so in danger of giving me nightmares that I deleted it. If you really want to see, google "enormous cockroach." It's the one picture of a huge one in disturbing detail.::
I definitely almost broke the washing machine today trying to wash my bedsheets. It was like rocking and making loud thumping noises. I had to take stuff out, and then all the wet stuff I removed created a river in our living room. Lovely.
Welcome to my Hawaii adventures. It is ridiculous. And fun. And then not fun. And really tiring. And then fun again.
Pictures coming soon. The best thing to do is keep a lookout on facebook. K thanks.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Dammit! Give me that cupcake
I feel like such a looooser for not being able to keep up with the debates!! dahahah I feel like...the total uncool kid - while the web is buzzing with talk about presidential debates, palin ingenuity, brilliant SNL spoofs...I'm still trying to find the time (and sometimes, the motivation) to sit down and actually watch everything.
Bad, I know, but it's kind of hard to do right now! I can't even say time is my only excuse though...when it's on your own time, you kinda have to be in the MOOD to do that kinda stuff, ya feel me? And when I've been caught with the time, I just can't bring myself to do it. But I will, even if it's months too late. hahahaha AHH, I dunno why, but it kinda stresses me out.
Week off from classes (meaning, Mon and Wed only), but it definitely doesn't feel like one.
I finally got some time on Monday morning to work on my grant project - basically, it's about three JA women whom I wholeheartedly admire - and how their work is impacted by their own perspectives and experiences with gender dynamics within their respective working spaces. It was great, to revisit those interviews, and even in the course of six or so months, my perspectives on gender oppression have changed a little. Shifted to, I would say, more of a radical view. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing - but it definitely is inspiring in some ways, thought-provoking in others, to hear from these women directly, based on their own life experiences. These were women either directly involved in the Redress movement, or very closely tied to the activism from that period. Yes, those were different times.
BUT here's the thing.
Scott, you kind of mentioned this in one of your blog entries, but there's this perception nowadays, that the Civil Rights Movement is over, we don't have those kinds of pressing racial community issues anymore.
BUT HELLOOO. The bailout? The economy? Anti-immigration sentiment? Anti-abortion legislation? The war? Need I say more?
After some thought, I can say, although it's not just like the African American's condition way back when, it still can be the Pacific Islander's, the Native Hawaiian's, the American Indian's, the undocumented immigrant's conditions that need to be addressed. They suffer from the kinds of present day oppressions and everyday barriers in comparable ways.
And our nation is seriously experiencing some unprecedented problems - some progress and advances, yes - but on a larger scale, really, foreal - PROBLEMS.
I think in the context of this broadly complacent society, we just don't know how to deal with them the same way. Different organizing methods, varied approaches, whatever - there are obviously still a lot of things that can be done, and NEED to be done.
Which brings me to the JA community. Okay, so privileged. Duh. Up the wazoo. Or so the image goes.
What's weird to me is that the whole image of the "model minority" was applied directly to JAs ONLY! Not all Asian Americans as an entity, but Japanese Americans alone. Now it's something detrimental to the entire Asian American community.
In a very careful attempt to not spew irrationally about my frustrations with the JA community, all I'm going to say is that I think right now - with all the institutions, the hierarchies, the deeply ingrained structure of patriarchy and capitalism - if you look at Japan's history, it kind of makes sense. Granted, JAs are not the same as the Japanese, but there is still a degree of connection. What occurred to me while I was reading A Native Daughter - the book by Haunani-Kay Trask - was that, the Japanese are colonizers too! They are the sole Asian country that has outright colonized other countries. ESPECIALLY in the case of Hawai'i, they are one of the major (and I mean THE major) contributors to the support of tourism and oppression of Native Hawaiians here. There's just - no consideration. I feel like, as an entity, the Japanese are completely oblivious. Now, where the rejection of that? The rejection of that colonizing history, the deconstruction of a culture that has consistently oppressed other, less powerful ethnic groups?
Then comes the tug between culture and ideology. Patriarchy and ageism is a part of the Japanese culture - respecting your elders, particularly if they are male. There's the culture of how they treat younger women, and it carries over, unquestionably, to what happens in the states. Isn't there a way to decolonize myself against that? Anyhow, I think I'm still in the process of reconciling that stuff. Maybe Aya can help me on this one. I'm so confused.
I totally didn't mean for this to turn into a huge, ridiculous rant, but that Trask book, I swear, makes me go crazy. These are a people consistently, constantly denied access to their own land and culture, and nobody here really seems to care. It is almost identical to the American Indian situation - except that definitely happened like two centuries ago. It is virtually a complete repeat of that whole dealio, and HOW!??
I just don't get it. I don't get our country!! I don't even get my own community.
Downtime is a bad thing for me, maybe.
haha IN OTHER NEWS, I went and spent $100 on a Japanese-style manicure. Is that ridiculous or what!
I AM BACK IN LA IN NOVEMBER!! NOVEMBER 21st! That is exciting.
Ace of Cakes is a bomb show.
OH YEAH and I definitely ran 4 miles the other day. I dunno how, but I did. I've never even run that much in my whole life. It's a sign of change.
Bad, I know, but it's kind of hard to do right now! I can't even say time is my only excuse though...when it's on your own time, you kinda have to be in the MOOD to do that kinda stuff, ya feel me? And when I've been caught with the time, I just can't bring myself to do it. But I will, even if it's months too late. hahahaha AHH, I dunno why, but it kinda stresses me out.
Week off from classes (meaning, Mon and Wed only), but it definitely doesn't feel like one.
I finally got some time on Monday morning to work on my grant project - basically, it's about three JA women whom I wholeheartedly admire - and how their work is impacted by their own perspectives and experiences with gender dynamics within their respective working spaces. It was great, to revisit those interviews, and even in the course of six or so months, my perspectives on gender oppression have changed a little. Shifted to, I would say, more of a radical view. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing - but it definitely is inspiring in some ways, thought-provoking in others, to hear from these women directly, based on their own life experiences. These were women either directly involved in the Redress movement, or very closely tied to the activism from that period. Yes, those were different times.
BUT here's the thing.
Scott, you kind of mentioned this in one of your blog entries, but there's this perception nowadays, that the Civil Rights Movement is over, we don't have those kinds of pressing racial community issues anymore.
BUT HELLOOO. The bailout? The economy? Anti-immigration sentiment? Anti-abortion legislation? The war? Need I say more?
After some thought, I can say, although it's not just like the African American's condition way back when, it still can be the Pacific Islander's, the Native Hawaiian's, the American Indian's, the undocumented immigrant's conditions that need to be addressed. They suffer from the kinds of present day oppressions and everyday barriers in comparable ways.
And our nation is seriously experiencing some unprecedented problems - some progress and advances, yes - but on a larger scale, really, foreal - PROBLEMS.
I think in the context of this broadly complacent society, we just don't know how to deal with them the same way. Different organizing methods, varied approaches, whatever - there are obviously still a lot of things that can be done, and NEED to be done.
Which brings me to the JA community. Okay, so privileged. Duh. Up the wazoo. Or so the image goes.
What's weird to me is that the whole image of the "model minority" was applied directly to JAs ONLY! Not all Asian Americans as an entity, but Japanese Americans alone. Now it's something detrimental to the entire Asian American community.
In a very careful attempt to not spew irrationally about my frustrations with the JA community, all I'm going to say is that I think right now - with all the institutions, the hierarchies, the deeply ingrained structure of patriarchy and capitalism - if you look at Japan's history, it kind of makes sense. Granted, JAs are not the same as the Japanese, but there is still a degree of connection. What occurred to me while I was reading A Native Daughter - the book by Haunani-Kay Trask - was that, the Japanese are colonizers too! They are the sole Asian country that has outright colonized other countries. ESPECIALLY in the case of Hawai'i, they are one of the major (and I mean THE major) contributors to the support of tourism and oppression of Native Hawaiians here. There's just - no consideration. I feel like, as an entity, the Japanese are completely oblivious. Now, where the rejection of that? The rejection of that colonizing history, the deconstruction of a culture that has consistently oppressed other, less powerful ethnic groups?
Then comes the tug between culture and ideology. Patriarchy and ageism is a part of the Japanese culture - respecting your elders, particularly if they are male. There's the culture of how they treat younger women, and it carries over, unquestionably, to what happens in the states. Isn't there a way to decolonize myself against that? Anyhow, I think I'm still in the process of reconciling that stuff. Maybe Aya can help me on this one. I'm so confused.
I totally didn't mean for this to turn into a huge, ridiculous rant, but that Trask book, I swear, makes me go crazy. These are a people consistently, constantly denied access to their own land and culture, and nobody here really seems to care. It is almost identical to the American Indian situation - except that definitely happened like two centuries ago. It is virtually a complete repeat of that whole dealio, and HOW!??
I just don't get it. I don't get our country!! I don't even get my own community.
Downtime is a bad thing for me, maybe.
haha IN OTHER NEWS, I went and spent $100 on a Japanese-style manicure. Is that ridiculous or what!
I AM BACK IN LA IN NOVEMBER!! NOVEMBER 21st! That is exciting.
Ace of Cakes is a bomb show.
OH YEAH and I definitely ran 4 miles the other day. I dunno how, but I did. I've never even run that much in my whole life. It's a sign of change.
Friday, October 3, 2008
While I do some catch-up myself (ketchup? catsup?)
I got so many Palin links today, it was like a sign. I haven't seen the VP debates yet, but rest assured, as soon as CNN gives me what I need, I will provide my own commentary. But I had to share a few things with you:
From Kirstie:
Courtesy of the Huffington Post.
From Christina Walter, aka Crown Royal on Ice:
Debating for Dummies.
And from Helen:
Different from the Diddy we see in some of his reality shows, such as Making the Band 4 or That working for Diddy show I don't really know the name of.
I expect all of these things will be accurate and correct in their measurings of Palin's long list of "qualifications" for the job, but we all might as well enjoy ourselves in the process.
And ah gawd, TI is hot:
From Kirstie:
Courtesy of the Huffington Post.From Christina Walter, aka Crown Royal on Ice:
Debating for Dummies.
And from Helen:
Different from the Diddy we see in some of his reality shows, such as Making the Band 4 or That working for Diddy show I don't really know the name of.
I expect all of these things will be accurate and correct in their measurings of Palin's long list of "qualifications" for the job, but we all might as well enjoy ourselves in the process.
And ah gawd, TI is hot:
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Feelin a little crazy
I woke up this morning dreading work, and yet still, here I am. Sitting. I couldn't sleep well last night for some reason - could be any number of reasons - nausea from the pill, the food I ate last night, back pain, whatever. I tried to have coffee and now I feel jittery, and that never happens to me!
Maybe I just need to rest. Unfortunately, there's so little time for that.
---
Anyway, I have a camera now, that beauty of a thing arrived in the mail about a week ago, thanks to Aya. It's SO nice though, I'm too scared to USE it! I tried so hard not to lose my last camera, it was so amazing, and then it was randomly lost for reasons beyond my control.
So, Maui trip. It was very cool.
I don't think I've ever had such a taiko intensive couple of days before, in my whole life, but considering I've only been playing taiko since my first year at UCLA that's not saying much. It was definitely a chance for me to test myself, challenge my ability to perform and play, all that kind of thing. And despite the seemingly intense physical exhaustion, I loved it.
Learning new stuff is always great, and especially these first few months, that's what my time with KETE is all about. That, and getting to know everyone better is such a plus. I think every week I have more and more fun with them all. I think I'm excited too, for what's to come the remaining...12 or so months of my time here.
Work in general is okay, I guess. Today's just one of those downer days I think. Or, well, mornings at least. It's only 10 am, but it feels like I've been here for 8 hours already.
Here's to hoping it gets better!
Maybe I just need to rest. Unfortunately, there's so little time for that.
---
Anyway, I have a camera now, that beauty of a thing arrived in the mail about a week ago, thanks to Aya. It's SO nice though, I'm too scared to USE it! I tried so hard not to lose my last camera, it was so amazing, and then it was randomly lost for reasons beyond my control.
So, Maui trip. It was very cool.
I don't think I've ever had such a taiko intensive couple of days before, in my whole life, but considering I've only been playing taiko since my first year at UCLA that's not saying much. It was definitely a chance for me to test myself, challenge my ability to perform and play, all that kind of thing. And despite the seemingly intense physical exhaustion, I loved it.
Learning new stuff is always great, and especially these first few months, that's what my time with KETE is all about. That, and getting to know everyone better is such a plus. I think every week I have more and more fun with them all. I think I'm excited too, for what's to come the remaining...12 or so months of my time here.
Work in general is okay, I guess. Today's just one of those downer days I think. Or, well, mornings at least. It's only 10 am, but it feels like I've been here for 8 hours already.
Here's to hoping it gets better!
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