THE SYSTEM? WORKING!? no way....

This happened about a week before I flew back home to LA, but it was probably the best moment in my whole year of working for Hawaii Human Development Corporation. Yes...it's a nonprofit, and it has the word "corporation" in its name.

But that's besides the point.

So HHDC is the nonprofit that employs me to work with the kids out at the Hawaii Youth Correctional Facility, or HYCF. Up to that day a week ago it was an interesting job to say the least, and it gave me some insights on the issues that lower income Hawaii youth face. The rampant drug problems on multiple islands, namely Big Island and Maui, particularly in the way of weed and more seriously, ice (aka meth); the robberies, burglaries, car hijackings, battery, and sometimes the occasional sexual assault or murder. This job gave me the last push I needed to really decide that I want to go to law school. Yes, to tackle community issues, but most of all to help kids like this who were thought to "never stand a chance" in regular society. Because when they make those same mistakes after they turn 18, it's longer, harder, and more dangerous time in the adult prisons. Once they end up there, it's considered the end.

Only to be truthful, the job that I do -- teaching the kids job readiness when they're getting ready to reemerge into the real world -- is not that serious, and awfully short-sighted. Ideally, we would stay in close contact with the kids we work with to make sure that they're able to acquire and maintain a job that will help them start a living, and stay out of trouble. But really what happens is that we rush through the curriculum, make sure they know the basics, and eject them from HHDC altogether. Well, not really "eject." But really, we lose touch. And so I decided this whole prison system thing, it doesn't really work. It's just BS.

Anyway. I work mostly with boys of high school age. I have also worked with the girls, mostly because my supervisor, a male, doesn't feel comfortable working closely with some of the female residents so I take care of all of them. I hear stories here and there about these kids' lives, how they ended up there, how things are, etc. etc. But I didnt realize til a week ago how little we really knew some of them.

To get to the point, I happened to have to drive out to the prison on my own one day, without my supervisor because he was occupied with other work. So I met with a new client, a 17 year old boy who is expecting to be released in February. I don't know why or how, but we got along wonderfully.

And because we did, somehow he felt it was safe to talk to me about what he had been through in not just prison, but his life before being in the facility. He was a repeat offender - many of the kids are - meaning that he's been in and out of the facility for the past 3-5 years or so. Yes, he started early.

Now, we always try to create a safe space for the kids, to make them see that we are really on their side, but for some reason or another I've never had this kind of a connection or conversation with any other boy or girl.

This boy had come across a lot of different epiphanies and revelations about his life, and how he was determined, but nervous, to be out and on his own. It's the anticipation of gaining freedom, but with it comes the realization that he could make another mistake, and it'd be over. Off to adult prison and never heard from again.

He was motivated, having survived the experience of youth prison, to stay goal oriented and not "do anything stupid." (His words, not mine) He was regretful of his actions but at the same time, so incredibly grateful for having been given a second chance. The youth facility was his second chance.

But the biggest question I had for him was: did the system work? Do you think the youth prison system works to help kids change their lives around? Because so many others had failed and are either making those same mistakes now, or are already doing time for it as adults.

What he told me might sound cliched to some, but coming from someone his age, it was profound.

Every kid has the choice to turn his life around, and time in the youth facility gives him that chance. It's like a hotel resort compared to adult prison. It's all about whether he takes responsibility for his actions, and if he does, that's it, it's easy to make decisions from there to start over and stop that kind of life. Everybody has that chance.

He had tried talking some sense into his peers, but to no avail. I told him it's because they haven't come as far as he had, thinking about his actions and his experiences and finding a way to turn it around into something positive for himself.

Anyhow. It's difficult to relay here in words but I was blown away.

There's no way for me to understand any of what he went through, but it just made me want to be a part of the whole thing - this kind of work. But of course, on another, more involved, level. I shared with him my ambitions toward lawyer-dom, and he said, I hope that you continue to help kids like me.

After that talk, that was it, that was enough! Planet Law, here I come.

As for the system, I still don't think it "works," but folks like him make the rest of us think there's a chance to change things for the better.

Late night rantings

It's almost 2 am and I should be sleeping because I have to get up for some early last-minute holiday shopping but...it's been a while and I think this has been in the works (in my head) for a while.

Lots of talk about Avatar and how great the movie is, mostly for its graphics and so on and so forth. But then with every so-called "great" movie comes the blogger articles about how really "racially" or "socially" groundbreaking certain plots or stories are in the media and Hollywood today. And of course, fancying myself a Progressive activist (although I'm in a sort of hibernation at the moment), I am subscribed to many of these blogs and read many of these articles or are linked by other friends.

Lately I've felt like reading those articles can be a great thing, sure -- it provides a radical perspective on the type of movie white people and the ignorants or otherwise unassuming public would take at face value and love -- but where do we draw the line when it starts to shade everything in such a negative light?

I've heard recently and all throughout the past few years, complaints about folks who enter the Progressive sphere, whether through undergrad, grad, the nonprofit sector, or whatever other outlets there are, and end up jaded and, let's face it, no longer fun to hang out with. I've experienced this once or twice with folks I don't care to name, and with the new assault of articles about why society STILL sucks, I kind of wonder when being a "progressive" just means you hate life. And white people.

Other movies that fall into this Avatar category, just to name a few, are District 9, the Blind Side, the Last Samurai, and essentially any other movie where a leading protagonist (white, of course) is involved somehow in protecting people of color and ending up the hero. The white guilt movies. Okay, I get it. And I totally agree that movies these days are really not all that great in challenging racial stereotypes or making any sort of huge statement about how much colonization sucks. Like, stop starring the white people already, we don't need them to save us. Even Disney's The Princess and the Frog is called totally wrong for it's altogether stereotypical portrayal of the black community. But frankly, all that is tiresome. Calling out every single movie or what have you on it's non-progressiveness just gets to be too much already. As if Progressivism is now all about shooting down every single thing that becomes popular and calling it out because from a social justice standpoint it totally blows. (Except, to be real, I really loved the Last Samurai. I didn't think it was all about Tom Cruise's character at all. So I disagree with criticisms regarding that movie, probably because I can appreciate the Japanese history that served as the inspiration for that story.)

And yet, of course I don't believe in "taking things are they are" either. It pisses me off when people say "it was just a movie, have fun with it," or "it's no big deal, calm down." It all still is what it is - a movie that status quo critics would call "amazing" and "poignant" because it's about race relation or gender or sexuality issues that we've all known about for years already. So can't there be some balance between the two?

How do we think about these things constructively? In a way where it feels like something can be done about it, or there's some effective way to make a change?

And yep, I completely and absolutely understand that the dialoguing and the discourse can be the first step. Putting it out there for folks the reasons why this or that thing is not correct or as politically earth shattering as some might think is a great thing to do. I'm just talking about when your interactions with these outlets - whether via internet, publications, or interpersonal relations - meld into one giant ball of pessimism about the world. And of course there are groups and great people taking steps to do the kind of work that may one day change the face of Hollywood when it comes to this type of thing. Or maybe not.

But the point is, how do we keep thinking about things and carrying out actions in a way that will help us fix the problem? Find a solution?

I of course don't have an answer to that yet, but I'm determined not to fall into this trap of becoming "jaded." Because thinking about it now, when folks call themselves "jaded," it's almost this lame excuse to then proceed to complain about every aspect of society that sucks. Complain, and then do jack shit about it. Ya dig?

Anyway. Glad my peers and the folks I hang out with aren't like this (so don't think it's about you because it isn't) but I think it's something to think about and consider. I think I went through a quick little "oh I'm so jaded and I hate being Progressive" whine session, a few posts ago, but snap back to reality and that's just what it is. A trap and an excuse.

A real thoughtful post was way overdue anyway, but I think I just had to let the right emotion build up before churning out anything useful. Ahh. Sleeptime foreal. So on a happier note:

Happy Holidays to the world!