My weekly quota

Let me just say this. I always have something to say about the way the organization is run, but I absolutely, positively, LOVE the people that are a part of it. I'm happy when I'm with this group - Megan, Fatima, Kirstie, Nessa, Hannli, Amy, Christable, then Scott and Yulree - and we seriously had some great times yesterday morning. The Reeses and Starbursts were so yum in the morning, even though they were obscene body parts before I ate them. Nessa's cupcakes hit the spot with my can of coffee. And when JD whispered in passing, "my birthday's coming up too" while pointing to himself and looking real eager, I just cracked up inside and out. I'm glad my impersonation of the event to the rest of the group, complete with chewed cupcake, could make them laugh too.

So Happy Birthday to Amy, and a belated one to Hannli, and thank you, for giving me such a great time in life even on my most sleep-lacking days.

I may be critical, but it doesn't mean it's not all done with love and full self-awareness.

YAY YOU ALL, and peace out. This is the best summer LIA intern family I could ask for.

OKAY I had to post this.

Here is my horoscope for today (you know, from that legit horoscope site!):

Enlightened self-interest

**

This time represents the culmination of your efforts to expand the domain of your activities. There is more and more that you want to do, and you resent anything that narrows your freedom and limits your scope of action. The challenge of this influence is to be conscious enough of yourself and of what you are doing so that you can plan intelligently and work effectively with enlightened self-interest as opposed to pure selfishness. As long as you stay within your own limitations - that is, your inherent limitations as a human being and the limitations of your situation or circumstances - you should be extremely successful. The sense of timing of your actions may leave others amazed and sure that you are lucky. But really you have succeeded because you have a complete understanding of the situation.

(sorry about the formatting, I don't know how to change it)

This, after a whole conversation with Lisa about what I can do about my recent frustrations and thoughts with LT and the JA community (see previous post). Hawaii is just hibernation, and time to figure out my POA (plan of action) for working with them while talking to folks, etc. Lisa and I just read this together, and we were a little creeped out.

I tell you. This site is so amazing. I'm serious.

Deep Fried Artichokes, Deep Fried Frog Legs, Deep Fry My Brain

Now, I'm sorry, I'm a little Mac impaired, but imagine that picture with the Paint equivalent of a big red circle around it with a line through it.

As in, OC Fairs, go away!!

I mean, don't get me wrong. I love performing with Taikoproject and eating terrible foods, but I don't love having to drive from LA to Costa Mesa multiple times a week, having it tire me so much I still feel it the next day, clogging my arteries, and packing my weekends (and weekdays) from 3-10 pm. My next days this week: Tues, Fri, Sat and Sun. And then I'm done.

I enjoyed reading Interns' blogs about the LEAP gala, and most of you know I have my own thoughts on all of that, all of which I won't post here, because I don't think it's appropriate.

I know I'm critical about a lot of things, and although sometimes I think many don't see the need for a critical eye on everything, I think it is important to analyze things this way.

Okay, so I started writing this on MONDAY, and now it's WEDNESDAY.

On this whole critical topic, I've come to a conclusion of sorts, as of a day ago. I've been critical of a lot of things lately, whether it be LEAP's structure as a "community" nonprofit, of the nonprofit sector and its funding (courtesy of Incite's book), and particularly, after doing the LT interview with Nessa, the JA community and its lack of organizing skills (especially in the area of Little Tokyo's current situation). And I have been thinking of these things a lot - as I learn more from others, and more about what it means to be a part of a grassroots organizing effort in the API community, I start to see more things wrong with the way certain campaigns or orgs are run.

BUT, I had to ask myself, what the hell am I going to DO about it!?

I can sit here all I want, criticizing and complaining, but that's a fault of a lot of our communities too - there's too much talk, and not enough action. People know what's wrong with the world today, but only a small percentage have the guts and brains to do anything about it.

So here's my promise, to myself and to my communities:

As for LEAP, I will take what I've learned from the organization, and from this internship, and remember it. The action here will go into my future work within the community - although I really do enjoy the internship, I don't always agree, and I think I can take these observations and make sure I don't repeat them. On the flip side, I will look out for what LEAP has done well and take that into consideration also. Ultimately though, LEAP has taught me thus far that it's what the organization stands for in its entirety that counts, not necessarily the little "good" or "positive" things (though, don't get me wrong, sometimes those are good too). So I can do some things right here and there, but if my overall goal, vision, or intentions aren't right, there's no point in the smaller things that I think make me good or correct. (does that make sense?)

To the JA community, I say, I am critical of the work you do, but I'm not ready to be engaged yet. Little Tokyo I hope stands as a lesson to the younger JA community - that it's more than rallies just for the sake of rallies - it's about building a base, having a CLEAR vision and goals, and then including all of that "multi-ethnic" JA community that you always talk about, rather than shutting them out. I think the youth need a grassroots organizing training - they see the tactics and emulate them without understanding WHY we do them. But, as soon as I figure out what role I can play in the community, I will do my part. Meanwhile, I will continue learning and having conversations with the right people about it.

In regards to the whole "nonprofit industrial complex," that topic has absolutely made me more aware of the necessities and difficulties of grassroots funding, but I know that those are much more preferable to the compromised integrity situations of some foundation (and corporate) funding sources. I think it'll definitely help when someday I'm a part of a nonprofit and am put in that kind of situation.

So those are my resolutions, for now, and being critical - it's all part of my growth process.

I acknowledge that this post is WAY too long, but I needed to get that out, between Monday and today.

And OC fair yesterday was fun. I'll be at Higashi Obon performing in LT this Saturday if you all want to come. Will email you all later.

NAPAWF news: trying to finish these factsheets (this week), going to do a legislative training for OCAPICA youth/young women, and then helping the LA Chapter get together its GOTV and voter education efforts.

One entry down, one to go. Probably Friday. Peace.

The "cat" is code for right-wing conservatives

Look! Mao has a thumb.





Cute, yes? Lisa LOVES her and it's easy to see why.


I wish all the conservatives in the world who stand in our way had bouts of chronic diarrhea and constipation in alternating order.

(was that inappropriate?)

3 pm stupors and fashion anxieties make for a happy Candice

In other news, the pooping cat is now constipated. Poor Mao!

Lisa and I relocated to a cafe in K-town called Koffea. I'm having the most bitter iced coffee float ever to exist for humankind, and I've finally gotten through a draft of a factsheet for SB 1301 (the CA Dream Act). I don't know why, but working this week has been SO SLOW.

Gchat convos with Scott and Nessies have made things go by quicker (Interns, if you're reading this, please use gchat! Then we can all chat together). I hope I can dress properly for the gala tomorrow. I love this program and appreciate the opportunity to be at the gala, but frankly, networking is exhausting. As I told Scott, being myself is exhausting.

NAPAWF is great though, Lisa was the go-to person for all kinds of venting from all kinds of people today. Ageist stories, premature marriages...hahah and all amidst the seriousness of Propositions 4 and 8, and SB 1301.

I kind of feel like week 4 is going to waste though, because I've been much more unproductive than in previous weeks. I think it's a sense of being overwhelmed by all this work at this point.

Too many taiko gigs have tired me out, physically and mentally.

Completed one LT interview (my aunt), and Nessa and I are currently trying to secure the second.

Okay I feel like this was the most pointless post, but hey! Two per week it is.

I leave you with a picture of the man of the week:




I really like "A Milli," but don't listen to or read the lyrics because they're sexist. Welcome to modern day hip hop. Although, I think I'm in love with T.I.

Just to make this post useful, here are some surprising stats:

- Although many opponents argue that undocumented students are detracting from state funds and resources, the truth is that undocumented AB 540 students alone contribute over $64 million to the UC system - just by paying tuition!
- Additionally, these undocumented students contribute to the economy when they pay for books, housing, and transportation.
- In a single semester, each undocumented AB 540 student can contribute over $10,000 to the state’s economy.

Courtesy of: my fact sheet. (hahaha yay for plagiarism! Check out cadreamact.org)

The cat has diarrhea and part of the world is dumb.

Lisa and I are returning today to work probably at 70% due to our individually trying weekends. I had an intense taiko-filled concert weekend (yay NESSA), and Lisa was in Vegas with a mixture of hard partying and exciting chapter jumpstarts.

But nothing could have prepared us for the unbelievable situation NAPAWF staff has been presented with recently. For security reasons I won't give out too much information, but essentially there is a NAPAWF article on anti-trafficking that was recently a topic of discussion on a particular website. Let's just say these are disgusting men sitting around, calling NAPAWF women fascists, communists, crazy radical feminists, even saying they are "QUEER in every sense of the word." (NAPAWF's ED identifies as a queer Asian American woman.)

The scary part is, this is a forum with 3 webpages WORTH of NAPAWF bashing, even getting personal and talking about individual staffers. Yes, they talk about feminists as ugly, fat pigs (talk about projection of the self) - but that's not all. They go so far as to post pictures of one particular staffer whose name I will withhold out of respect for her - to comment on her "beauty," her ideologies, her education - it's scary!! These morons (understatement) actually took the pictures and information from the NAPAWF website and have posted it all over the forum, making personal comments about their credibilities and even life experiences.

I was baffled, amused, disgusted, angered, and shocked all at once.

It was discussed on our staff call today, and I dunno. While it's kind of scary and pretty gross, I guess on the bright side, NAPAWF is famous?

hah.

They say feminists act like 5 year olds, but let's be real. What's more juvenile than a whole bunch of these particular men with nothing better to do than sit around on their asses and uselessly bash other people? Helloo, get out and do something with yourselves for goodness' sake. (fyi, it's like a group of 4-6 men that consider this legitimate discourse.)

At risk of making this post too long, I will leave you with one particular comment from the forum. (Not to give them the satisfaction of the publicity or anything, but I just want to SHOW YOU how ridiculous this site is, since verbalizing its outrageousness is so difficult.)

In response to our ED having been born in Hong Kong, one forum member writes:

How did she get here? Was she smuggled in via "human traffickers?" I mean everybody knows that ALL real Asian women in the U.S. had to have been trafficked in right? Was she a "Mail Order Bride" (or "Husband" for her "queer" wife?) Did her queer lesbian feminist lover pretend to be a man and apply for a marital visa for her? Did she sneak across the border? Was she given a green card via Layli Miller-Muro claiming she was circumcised? Ooop I mean "gentle mutilated." (Circumcision is okay because it only applies to men.)

How do these foreign feminists get here? Don't we have any standards anymore? While bonifide foreign wives and fiancees are having their visas denied permanently or indefinately, these foreign feminist queers are shown the red carpet to come here, suck up our tax dollars and try to overthrow our society and government.

What is wrong with this picture?


That is seriously not even the half of it, but just a little taste of the awesome-ness of this site.


Times like these make me so happy to have people like you. More updates on work to come. This experience needed a post of its own.

(And in case you wanted to know, NAPAWF is currently taking measures to see what can be done about the safety of these staffers. And there is no direct response planned, since it would be a waste of time to consider.)

::edit - on a completely unrelated note, happy birthday to my sister. she's 19! sorry to put this in the company of this terrible subject!!::

The Death March (of bills)

SAD! This week I have watched bill after bill either get stuck in suspense files, or die altogether. These are bills that would have provided emergency services to populations with LEP (limited English proficiency), paid for comprehensive sex ed programs in schools on both the federal and state levels, and given interpreters to domestic violence victims at the state's expense. I'm just - in a post-bill tracking stupor.

I'm also at Starbucks working today - it's like a day off, but not, because I have to get drafts of THREE factsheets out by FRIDAY.

That said, since I'm here in Little Tokyo, distractions are abound. One distraction is this blog. But Scott says, at least two per week, so okay Scott Chan, you might get three this week.

Or maybe not, we'll see. Maybe I'll just get a racist license plate instead.

Day 1 of Week 3 was satisfying, though, Lisa and I had a little Wii time (shhh!) during our lunch break, and I watched the cat fall off of stuff twice during the day. (that's right like, oops, there she goes off the table, and oops, I think she's hanging onto that shelf for dear life!) Set up a meeting with Michelle from OCAPICA (who happens to be Lisa's cousin) for a legislative training planning meeting (too many -ings -- and too many parentheticals!) and made some considerable progress getting to know these bills.

Read all the interns' blogs today, and have to say, I love them. Both the people and the blogs. Yay Christable and NAKASEC for doing SB 1301, aka DREAM. This will be intense.

OKAY back to work. Like.

Foreal.

Post-fireworks, Pre-madness

Week 2 at NAPAWF was a short one, and because of that, it (obviously) went by quickly, and wasn't too substantial in terms of workload and productivity. Although, I suppose, considering it was a 2 day week for me, I did get a good amount of work done.

Last week was mostly about starting to help the LA Chapter's GOTV timeline materialize, and then contacting leg advocates and others both about bill statuses and collaboration work. Got in touch with OCAPICA and KGA as well, to ask if they might want to work together on legislative trainings for their members. Yay trainings!

This week will be much more productive I think - now that a lot of the initial contact has been made, we can focus on actually creating the factsheets for the following: Parental Initiative Notification 3, or Prop 4, the same-sex marriage ban, or Prop 8, and then depending on what Senate Appropriations decides, possibly AB 1930, or AB 2902. Only time will tell.

On a more personal note, this book that Lisa lent me - The Revolution Will Not Be Funded - written by Incite! Women of Color Against Violence, is AMAZING. I've only read the intro and the first half of the first essay, and I'm already captivated. And convinced.

In a nutshell, this book is about how, what they call the "Non-profit Industrial Complex" and foundation grants, i.e. "private sector funding," actually inhibits, oppresses, and distracts the progressive social justice movement. By providing money to nonprofit organizations, these grant companies are actually upholding white hegemony and hierarchy, by funneling money more towards status quo-type social reform, and away from "radical," progressive change. On purpose.

That's right, it's intentional.

It's like reading about something you've always kind of known somewhere, in the back of your mind, or have heard tidbits about, but can finally articulate and piece together with clarity.

I will update you as I make more progress in this book.

Mao, Lisa's cat, is looking up at the window because there are some birds chirping on the roof. Precious!

Yay NAPAWF, and yay week 3.