Deep Fried Artichokes, Deep Fried Frog Legs, Deep Fry My Brain

Now, I'm sorry, I'm a little Mac impaired, but imagine that picture with the Paint equivalent of a big red circle around it with a line through it.

As in, OC Fairs, go away!!

I mean, don't get me wrong. I love performing with Taikoproject and eating terrible foods, but I don't love having to drive from LA to Costa Mesa multiple times a week, having it tire me so much I still feel it the next day, clogging my arteries, and packing my weekends (and weekdays) from 3-10 pm. My next days this week: Tues, Fri, Sat and Sun. And then I'm done.

I enjoyed reading Interns' blogs about the LEAP gala, and most of you know I have my own thoughts on all of that, all of which I won't post here, because I don't think it's appropriate.

I know I'm critical about a lot of things, and although sometimes I think many don't see the need for a critical eye on everything, I think it is important to analyze things this way.

Okay, so I started writing this on MONDAY, and now it's WEDNESDAY.

On this whole critical topic, I've come to a conclusion of sorts, as of a day ago. I've been critical of a lot of things lately, whether it be LEAP's structure as a "community" nonprofit, of the nonprofit sector and its funding (courtesy of Incite's book), and particularly, after doing the LT interview with Nessa, the JA community and its lack of organizing skills (especially in the area of Little Tokyo's current situation). And I have been thinking of these things a lot - as I learn more from others, and more about what it means to be a part of a grassroots organizing effort in the API community, I start to see more things wrong with the way certain campaigns or orgs are run.

BUT, I had to ask myself, what the hell am I going to DO about it!?

I can sit here all I want, criticizing and complaining, but that's a fault of a lot of our communities too - there's too much talk, and not enough action. People know what's wrong with the world today, but only a small percentage have the guts and brains to do anything about it.

So here's my promise, to myself and to my communities:

As for LEAP, I will take what I've learned from the organization, and from this internship, and remember it. The action here will go into my future work within the community - although I really do enjoy the internship, I don't always agree, and I think I can take these observations and make sure I don't repeat them. On the flip side, I will look out for what LEAP has done well and take that into consideration also. Ultimately though, LEAP has taught me thus far that it's what the organization stands for in its entirety that counts, not necessarily the little "good" or "positive" things (though, don't get me wrong, sometimes those are good too). So I can do some things right here and there, but if my overall goal, vision, or intentions aren't right, there's no point in the smaller things that I think make me good or correct. (does that make sense?)

To the JA community, I say, I am critical of the work you do, but I'm not ready to be engaged yet. Little Tokyo I hope stands as a lesson to the younger JA community - that it's more than rallies just for the sake of rallies - it's about building a base, having a CLEAR vision and goals, and then including all of that "multi-ethnic" JA community that you always talk about, rather than shutting them out. I think the youth need a grassroots organizing training - they see the tactics and emulate them without understanding WHY we do them. But, as soon as I figure out what role I can play in the community, I will do my part. Meanwhile, I will continue learning and having conversations with the right people about it.

In regards to the whole "nonprofit industrial complex," that topic has absolutely made me more aware of the necessities and difficulties of grassroots funding, but I know that those are much more preferable to the compromised integrity situations of some foundation (and corporate) funding sources. I think it'll definitely help when someday I'm a part of a nonprofit and am put in that kind of situation.

So those are my resolutions, for now, and being critical - it's all part of my growth process.

I acknowledge that this post is WAY too long, but I needed to get that out, between Monday and today.

And OC fair yesterday was fun. I'll be at Higashi Obon performing in LT this Saturday if you all want to come. Will email you all later.

NAPAWF news: trying to finish these factsheets (this week), going to do a legislative training for OCAPICA youth/young women, and then helping the LA Chapter get together its GOTV and voter education efforts.

One entry down, one to go. Probably Friday. Peace.