Much Ado About Nothing

A poster I made for the kids, last semester, in my attempt to explain to them how the electoral process works. It was interesting to try and break something down for them in a way they could grasp, and it's always fun to draw these things.

Kaimuki starts up again next week, and I am excited. The curriculum last semester covered 3 main topics: Megacities (and their environmental issues), the Presidential Election, and then Aquaculture (fisheries etc).

But this semester, get this - the three topics: 1) Sustainability, 2) CHILD LABOR and 3) REFUGEES. It's like, stuff right up my alley, and there's so much I want to do it blows my mind. These topics are always of course in the context of Asia as it relates to Hawaii, so I'm really hyped about being able to do this with the kids. That combined with the trial and error results I was able to take from last semester, makes for a sum of, well, Candice is looking forward to this.

From talking to folks and working with some of the kids whenever I can get volunteer time at or around the prison, I'm just kind of baffled at the whole prison system in Hawaii. I'm not too educated about the PIC as it relates specifically to Cali, but out here it's, I dunno. There aren't even words.

And the system works for some kids, but mostly, these kids are so in and out - doing time and trying to finish their sentences when they've already done some time earlier for whatever. The thing is, some of these kids are good kids, they're just in tough situations and don't have the resources or the guidance to stop the cycle. I guess that's a no-brainer, but it's one of few observations I've been trying to take away from all this.

Of course taiko has been keeping me busy so it's been hard to do as much as I'd like, but I can't complain about taiko either. It'll be exciting to tell my kids and my grandkids about my days in Hawaii, studying taiko and pursuing the passion, at least for a little while. It was a revelation that crossed my mind, mid-odaiko lesson.

Been keeping up on a book Dawn gave me as a Christmas gift, a book of poetry by Nikki Giovanni. Not usually big on poetry, but this is really cool. All on an African-American woman's perspective, circa Civil Rights and on. About everything from love to loss to community to politics.

I grew up too spoiled to have to cook for myself most nights because I can't afford to eat out. I think I will either need to fix that, or come into some money once I've finally settled down. haha like that will happen.

Okay this post is going nowhere really, but it's always fun to ramble, blog-style. If you haven't listened to Sweet's Ballroom Blitz lately, do it. It's just too good to pass up.

A time for expression

This - just something that comes to mind when I have a day all to myself, and no urgent errands or matters to tend to. It is a revelation that was brought on by a dream I had last night, and one that surprises me in so many ways.

Even after 4 years everything you’ve done for me resonates each day of my life. I dreamt about you, too, last night. It still happens, every so often, more or less catches me by surprise. Just when I think I’ve forgotten, I wake up with new memories, only to realize it was a creation of my subconscious.

In so many ways, your having been there, my having met you – has changed and affected me to an extent I could have never imagined. When I think of my goals, my aspirations, my dreams in life, I always think about what your opinions would be of them. Would you approve? Would you frown upon them?

Oftentimes, I make decisions based on how I think you would view them. Or what you would think of them.

I always wonder what my life would have been like without that kind of a lingering influence. Better? Worse? Of course I will never know, or maybe I will, sometime in the near and new future.

And even without the unexpected dreams, I still have the memories of what you used to be like, of all the great, as well as tough, times we shared together. Just like best friends would. A ramen place, a day at Disneyland, community work – insignificant, everyday reminders that shape themselves into my image of you. Even when I try to create my own memories, there is always something that brings me back to a link with you that already exists.

It’s interesting, to think that the person I am today might be attributed so much to the role you played in my life. It has undeniably helped make me a stronger person, in so many ways, and for that I of course have you to thank. It also makes me wonder how much of me is really, well, ME. And not you. Or at least, not because of you.

While that question has yet to be answered, ultimately, I have made it, and I am happy. In spite of you.

After a Long Hiatus

Back in Honolulu, and chillin like a villain. Kinda.

Off to the Big Island tomorrow for a few days, to play some taiko and perform and possibly earn some money. That should be exciting, especially since it'll be a (supposedly) chill three days.

Everything has been different here now, with the roommates gone, more free time, and a little less money. But mo' money, mo' problems, right?

First, the house. Kind of lonely, since I'm by myself until new roommate (a taiko girl) moves in next month. Lots of cleaning up, and a few traumatizing cockroach incidents. Or, well, one. A real physical run-in with a large sized cockroach scampering around my room. Clear out more furniture to refresh the look of the place, and you can add a few more cockroach bodies and a gecko skeleton to the equation. (The roaches are gone but the skeleton is still here. I am way too freaked out to touch it.)

Yeah, it's freakishly dirty up in here because a lot of the furniture and things around the house haven't been moved/cleaned in way too long. Strictly speaking room and board-wise, I can't wait to get back to LA. But I make do, and this IS home, for now. My room is clean, at least, once the cockroach was subtracted.

Second, a new volunteering gig teaching at-risk and incarcerated youth. Definitely the experience of my life right now, working with youth who have had it rough and either dropped out of school or ended up in youth prison for whatever reason (read: drug dealing, robberies, even shootings). I basically am helping out this nonprofit with providing job readiness trainings for these kids, most from 15-18, so that they can get out of a detrimental routine and earn a living for themselves.

Kind of a reality check in life, once again - about my own privilege. Also an unfortunate reminder of the pretty f-ed up nature of the system, Island-style.

It's almost like a new life for me here now, different than what I was experiencing and living from August to December. Not different bad or better, just - different, I guess.

But things have been good - met a great group of people outside of taiko, and it's always thrilling to widen my social circle out here. I'm grateful for them.

Taiko itself is great, kind of feel like I'm more on my own since Kels and Dave are gone and I don't have them to go to, but all in all I can't complain. Just trying to get in the groove of teaching taiko classes on my own this time, and then of course trying to, well, get GOOD at taiko itself. Like, really good.

The high school teaching gig starts again in a week, so that'll be fun, I hope. After last semester, via trial and error I definitely have a better idea of how I should run the class, so that's nice to have. It'll also help pay the bills so I can stop living off of canned food for lack of money! (Okay, well, it's not THAT bad. But - kinda.)

Also trying to work off that holiday grubbiness, haven't been able to drag my lazy ass on a run yet (shame) but the ab workouts have been productive, and I try to choose active alternatives to travel and transportation (i.e. walk that shit).

Listening to my brand new pink iPod shufflies helps too.

The mosquitoes have already gotten me. 7 or 8 leg bites and counting.

Thanks for the welcome home, Honolulu.

(PS Happy MLK Jr Day, and Happy Obama Day tomorrow.)