Tough times at K-muki High

From yesterday:

Had one of my roughest days today.

Was really looking forward to class at Kaimuki, thinking I was more prepared to handle a large class full of girls (and one boy). I even took an hour and a half to prep materials today, which usually never happens because, well, it never takes that long. I thought I had it down.

But instead, I was in over my head. At least, today. I was so stressed after two of my students decided they would like to fist fight after school. They were both girls. Just some catty, meaningless shit went down and they threwdown. I was just so, I dunno. Caught off guard would probably explain it best.

I know this has nothing to do with me, but today's incident just stressed the hell out of me. It sounds lame, but I just care so much about the kids, and have a pretty good idea of how I want us to learn, to relate, to cooperate and coexist. But when two of your students decide fighting is more important, it's just frustrating. I also care a lot about how I should handle the situation, in a way that doesn't put down any of the kids, but rather, empowers them. Empowers them to make better decisions, to think differently, to challenge themselves and others.

But if they decide fighting is more important, what can you do?

I especially hate to see young women do this kind of thing to each other.

I think I was most overwhelmed because I felt so unprepared and a little helpless. I'm sure I've made the situation much more than it really is, i.e. this will probably be forgotten in a week, but I get anxious over how I should handle the aftermath in our next class, a week from now.

Maybe I just need to stop caring so much. I even lost naptime sleep over this because my mind was racing over what I could have, should have, will have to, do.

Thank goodness for Aya.

I know it'll be on my mind until next class, but hopefully the frustration and hint of dread at confronting and solving the problem will lessen each day. It always does, after all. It's kind of like, really looking forward to something, working super hard for it, and then having it all thrown back in your face. Real talk though, at this point, the prison dealio is WAY more rewarding. Infinitely more so at the moment.

And then fast forward to today.
It's all in the past, at least for now. I was able to talk it out with a few people, and I am not too stressed about it anymore.

The further bad news came about 8 am this morning, when the school counselor, who I had alerted about the incident, called me to let me know the fight had continued elsewhere and it ended up in one my students getting ganged up on.

I was being hard on myself for not being able to deal with a situation in a way that would have avoided the confrontation in the first place, but I guess it's out of my hands. And just my fucking luck, this is the first time the school has had to deal with an incident like this - at least, according to admin.

Anyhow, I'll just worry about how to deal with the situation next Wednesday, I guess. I'm kind of relieved Monday is a holiday, so as to give me ample time to think it through. One thing's for sure - the rest of the class is to be commended in stopping the fight when it first started outside the classroom.

Otherwise, can't complain about much else. My roommate, Maki Ino (no relation to Aya as far as we all know) is amazing. She cooks great, hearty meals for the both of us every night, and it's smooth sailing after practice. How lucky. Hooked up our new HD tv last night, rearranged the place - it's like a whole new living situation. Love it.

Here's to hoping next week runs a little more smoothly.