Spent the afternoon reading other people's love letters whilst sick in bed.
Or, well, I wish that were completely true. Make that - had to drag my sick butt to work today, go help out with a taiko thing, and then walk my light headed self back home for a good mile.
And in between I read those love letters, and now I'm home in bed, finally, to try and get better before the weekend.
I got this "Other People's Love Letters: 150 Letters You Were Never Meant to See" book as a birthday gift from a girlfriend. Enjoying it thorougly, though it reminds me of every relationship I've been in.
I guess love themes are the same. The love, the hate, the guilt.
I've had the kind where you feel bad for treating the other person badly, but you really just didn't know how to say "no" and be completely honest with the other person and yourself. Or the one where you hate the other person for not trying enough. Or the one you always had to support and encourage because he didn't feel confident enough about himself, like ever. Or the one you could just never forget no matter how hard you've tried.
I've stayed angry for so long at my last relationship victim, when little by little, I guess as I grow, I realize I was probably just as much at fault as he was. So despite all the love and all the anger, I guess I'm really just sorry for everything. It's just easier to blame the other person when you've been through so much hurt.
It's been a while since I've been sick like this, and even though it sucks, I feel like I get sick when my body really just needs a break. So times like this I just feel relieved. It's exactly the excuse I need to stay in bed and sleep for hours on end without feeling too badly about it. As long as I don't get a fever I won't worry about swine flu.
Still, I try and wash my hands before touching people or people's things.
Back to my letters.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Care for a Quickie?
- THE CONCERT IS DONE!! It was great and friends came and I was so happy. I got so many leis the rest of the team thought I was popular. Not popular, just lucky. Also super unbelievably exhausted, even after the day after (today). But at least the taiko insanity is briefly done. I am so happy I could sleep for the next week. Straight.
- My birthday was the shit. That last post sounded unbelievably self-centered but I did it in a hurry and I was really happy.
- I think I need to change blogs. I don't like that I have to be on a different account just to update my blog, because sometimes I do want to chat and update at the same time. I think the fact that I have to sign out of my regular account just to update deters me from updating more often.
- Just saw Maggie Gyllenhaal's Secretary movie, and it is the shit. Expect a lot of unconventional sexual themes, but I think that's what makes the flick so wonderful.
- Kelsey is leaving. Not only is she leaving, she's leaving me. But she's getting a tattoo first so I'm going to wake up early just to go with her. While she's doing that, I might as well update my own ear piercings. Add a few here and there, you know, that sort of thing.
- I had a revelation that I may be single for the rest of my life. By choice. And by Aya's inspirational comment, just adopt someday? Just a quick thought. Like all of these bullet points.
- Did I already mention Kelsey's leaving? Makes me sad. Ah well. Life goes on.
- I miss LA! In kind of a homesick way, but then not so much. It's just like, not being used to having been away for so long.
- My birthday was the shit. That last post sounded unbelievably self-centered but I did it in a hurry and I was really happy.
- I think I need to change blogs. I don't like that I have to be on a different account just to update my blog, because sometimes I do want to chat and update at the same time. I think the fact that I have to sign out of my regular account just to update deters me from updating more often.
- Just saw Maggie Gyllenhaal's Secretary movie, and it is the shit. Expect a lot of unconventional sexual themes, but I think that's what makes the flick so wonderful.
- Kelsey is leaving. Not only is she leaving, she's leaving me. But she's getting a tattoo first so I'm going to wake up early just to go with her. While she's doing that, I might as well update my own ear piercings. Add a few here and there, you know, that sort of thing.
- I had a revelation that I may be single for the rest of my life. By choice. And by Aya's inspirational comment, just adopt someday? Just a quick thought. Like all of these bullet points.
- Did I already mention Kelsey's leaving? Makes me sad. Ah well. Life goes on.
- I miss LA! In kind of a homesick way, but then not so much. It's just like, not being used to having been away for so long.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Happy Birthday to meeeee
More updates and pictures later, but thanks everyone for making this year so wonderful!!!! You know who you are, much love! <3
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Taiko-Party it up
The month of April will be and so far has been so exciting because Kelsey Furuta is here. Like, seriously. That, and we have our Taiko Fest concert coming up on the 25th, and there's just so much work to be done. It'll be my first big performance with the Kenny Endo Taiko Ensemble.
But then, throw in work times 3 (teaching, taiko office, prison duties) plus a bajillion gigs in the next two weeks, and you get INSANITY. Absolute insanity, plus parties. You know, because Kelsey's back. AND it's t-minus 9 days before I become the big 2-3.
Three of us girlies went out to Level 4 last night, really the only significant clubbing experience you can get out here in Honolulu, and it was so much fun. After finding out I didn't have to volunteer out at the prison Saturday morning, Friday night had just gotten a whole lot more fun. I drank myself into oblivion, danced the night away with some random boy who was trying to ask me questions amid the blaring music (plus I was so far gone I had no idea what the hell he was saying to me), tipped the bathroom lady $5, and bonded with the two most amazing women on Oahu. I don't know what I would do without them, seriously.
Went to bed at 6 am, and have been recovering ever since I got out of bed. I admit, it's nice to have days like these sometimes.
Going out with taiko peeps later, that should be fun.
I got this awesome new book, called Golden Gulag, after Lisa Fu told me about this organization called Critical Resistance. Critical Resistance is an Oakland-based organization that is totally antiprison, and is all about getting rid of the PIC, understanding why California has turned to caging a disproportionate number of people of color, and working with prisoners' families to make sure these folks can get their loved ones out of the damn system. The founder of this organization wrote this book, and it's all about the growth of prisons in California, i.e. how the entire Prison Industrial Complex came to be, why it exists, and why prisons are completely detrimental to our society as a whole.
It's a great connection to the prison work I've been doing for the past few months, and also helps me think about how I might be able to continue that work when I leave here, although it would be in a very different way.
I did have thoughts though, about how reading this book might completely change my perspective on the work I do now with these kids, and maybe make me realize what's so messed up about the way things are done now. I mean, it's obvious that so many of these kids are just in and out of the system, not at all changing their behavior from age 11-18, hardly learning a thing about how to change their lives and turn things around. Plus, there's a lack of a long term support system for these kids. The state kinda just hands them over to a family member and everyone hopes for the best. And if they end up back in prison it's like, "Eh, oh well, that's where they belong anyway."
Pretty fucked up, right?
Anyhow, at least from a California perspective I think this book will give me what I need when it comes to background on the prison system, and fuel the fire when it comes to carrying out conversations with folks on this issue. I'm hoping it'll help me know what to talk about and how to discuss it if I'm ever put in that kind of a situation.
The world's been abuzz with that ridiculous situation with the Texas state rep. who made that blatantly racist comment about Asian names and then claimed "it's not about race." Seriously Brown, get a clue, and then educate your damn ignorant self.
OH, just had to say - did a taiko gig on Friday morning at Kawaii Kon - the Hawai'i equivalent of Cali's Anime Expo. It was the most unbelievably ridiculous thing EVER!! Just confirmed why I would never go to something like that. I just think the whole idea of that event is bizarre. It definitely commodifies Japanese culture in so many ways. I can't even believe we PLAYED TAIKO there. Just - shameful. So shameful.
Not to mention most of their "celebrities" signing autographs and speaking were white voice actors. I mean, REALLY!?
But then, throw in work times 3 (teaching, taiko office, prison duties) plus a bajillion gigs in the next two weeks, and you get INSANITY. Absolute insanity, plus parties. You know, because Kelsey's back. AND it's t-minus 9 days before I become the big 2-3.
Three of us girlies went out to Level 4 last night, really the only significant clubbing experience you can get out here in Honolulu, and it was so much fun. After finding out I didn't have to volunteer out at the prison Saturday morning, Friday night had just gotten a whole lot more fun. I drank myself into oblivion, danced the night away with some random boy who was trying to ask me questions amid the blaring music (plus I was so far gone I had no idea what the hell he was saying to me), tipped the bathroom lady $5, and bonded with the two most amazing women on Oahu. I don't know what I would do without them, seriously.
Went to bed at 6 am, and have been recovering ever since I got out of bed. I admit, it's nice to have days like these sometimes.
Going out with taiko peeps later, that should be fun.
I got this awesome new book, called Golden Gulag, after Lisa Fu told me about this organization called Critical Resistance. Critical Resistance is an Oakland-based organization that is totally antiprison, and is all about getting rid of the PIC, understanding why California has turned to caging a disproportionate number of people of color, and working with prisoners' families to make sure these folks can get their loved ones out of the damn system. The founder of this organization wrote this book, and it's all about the growth of prisons in California, i.e. how the entire Prison Industrial Complex came to be, why it exists, and why prisons are completely detrimental to our society as a whole.It's a great connection to the prison work I've been doing for the past few months, and also helps me think about how I might be able to continue that work when I leave here, although it would be in a very different way.
I did have thoughts though, about how reading this book might completely change my perspective on the work I do now with these kids, and maybe make me realize what's so messed up about the way things are done now. I mean, it's obvious that so many of these kids are just in and out of the system, not at all changing their behavior from age 11-18, hardly learning a thing about how to change their lives and turn things around. Plus, there's a lack of a long term support system for these kids. The state kinda just hands them over to a family member and everyone hopes for the best. And if they end up back in prison it's like, "Eh, oh well, that's where they belong anyway."
Pretty fucked up, right?
Anyhow, at least from a California perspective I think this book will give me what I need when it comes to background on the prison system, and fuel the fire when it comes to carrying out conversations with folks on this issue. I'm hoping it'll help me know what to talk about and how to discuss it if I'm ever put in that kind of a situation.
The world's been abuzz with that ridiculous situation with the Texas state rep. who made that blatantly racist comment about Asian names and then claimed "it's not about race." Seriously Brown, get a clue, and then educate your damn ignorant self.
OH, just had to say - did a taiko gig on Friday morning at Kawaii Kon - the Hawai'i equivalent of Cali's Anime Expo. It was the most unbelievably ridiculous thing EVER!! Just confirmed why I would never go to something like that. I just think the whole idea of that event is bizarre. It definitely commodifies Japanese culture in so many ways. I can't even believe we PLAYED TAIKO there. Just - shameful. So shameful.
Not to mention most of their "celebrities" signing autographs and speaking were white voice actors. I mean, REALLY!?
Monday, April 6, 2009
Accomplishments of the week
- Ran the damn 5K. I'm glad I did it, but my body's not. Apparently I'm not in as great shape as I thought. Yay for Advocates of Public Interest Law!
- Saw Tenkaippin/Ultimate Japan people. I was so proud, even if nobody else really got it.
- Made Takikomi Gohan, albeit out of a packet, and had a food orgasm. Thanks ayas.
- Completed first class back from Spring Break. I realized two things: 1) I haven't cultivated a relationship with these students like I did first semester, probably because of size but other reasons as well, and 2) it was kind of nice to be back with them. After having them do evaluations, I realized they do appreciate the work I do in this class, even though they do want more fun activities and parties and stuff in class. hahaha all in all though, I do am fond of these students. A student from last semester came to visit, and I was SO happy to see her. It was a rewarding day at Kaimuki.
- Even though I was hurting from the 5K run on Sunday, I still did my daily workout. I think that made it all worse. I also still did taiko.
- Managed to eat healthy and stay sane today. That is an accomplishment anyday.
- Saw Tenkaippin/Ultimate Japan people. I was so proud, even if nobody else really got it.
- Made Takikomi Gohan, albeit out of a packet, and had a food orgasm. Thanks ayas.
- Completed first class back from Spring Break. I realized two things: 1) I haven't cultivated a relationship with these students like I did first semester, probably because of size but other reasons as well, and 2) it was kind of nice to be back with them. After having them do evaluations, I realized they do appreciate the work I do in this class, even though they do want more fun activities and parties and stuff in class. hahaha all in all though, I do am fond of these students. A student from last semester came to visit, and I was SO happy to see her. It was a rewarding day at Kaimuki.
- Even though I was hurting from the 5K run on Sunday, I still did my daily workout. I think that made it all worse. I also still did taiko.
- Managed to eat healthy and stay sane today. That is an accomplishment anyday.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Some quickies
- I saw Lisa Fu when she came to visit about a week ago - it was one of the best days of my Hawai'i life. Although the time went by entirely too quickly before she had to leave to catch her flight home, it got me really thinking about the kind of work I'd like to do when I get home to LA. i.e. I can continue my prison work, only in a much more progressive, social justice conducive environment out there. It would be an interesting continuation of the work I've been doing out here, and would give me an opportunity to learn more about the PIC.
- Been having back problems, went to get a massage today but not quite sure it did the job. We'll see tomorrow I guess.
- Tried out a tanning salon! Nice way to get an insta-tan, but now my butt is a little burned.
- Kelsey coming back to visit in a week!! So excited, but also a little anxious because it coincides with the month of TAIKO. Seriously. It'll be like all taiko all the time this April. But it'll just be too much fun with her here.
- April's fools joke of the day ("played" on me) was "You're hot, can I be your stalker? ..April fools!" Courtesy of a white girl at the tanning salon.
- Too many people are talking about the McDonald's filet o fish commercial. Correction: too many people are SINGING that damn song.
- Done with taxes finally, what a relief.
- Hip Hop Abs - it really does what it says. I would recommend it to anyone.
- Mythbusters on the Discovery channel is the shit! I can't get enough of this show!
- And finally, a gem I found on icanhascheezburger:
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
- Been having back problems, went to get a massage today but not quite sure it did the job. We'll see tomorrow I guess.
- Tried out a tanning salon! Nice way to get an insta-tan, but now my butt is a little burned.
- Kelsey coming back to visit in a week!! So excited, but also a little anxious because it coincides with the month of TAIKO. Seriously. It'll be like all taiko all the time this April. But it'll just be too much fun with her here.
- April's fools joke of the day ("played" on me) was "You're hot, can I be your stalker? ..April fools!" Courtesy of a white girl at the tanning salon.
- Too many people are talking about the McDonald's filet o fish commercial. Correction: too many people are SINGING that damn song.
- Done with taxes finally, what a relief.
- Hip Hop Abs - it really does what it says. I would recommend it to anyone.
- Mythbusters on the Discovery channel is the shit! I can't get enough of this show!
- And finally, a gem I found on icanhascheezburger:
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
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