Loopies

Spent the afternoon reading other people's love letters whilst sick in bed.

Or, well, I wish that were completely true. Make that - had to drag my sick butt to work today, go help out with a taiko thing, and then walk my light headed self back home for a good mile.

And in between I read those love letters, and now I'm home in bed, finally, to try and get better before the weekend.

I got this "Other People's Love Letters: 150 Letters You Were Never Meant to See" book as a birthday gift from a girlfriend. Enjoying it thorougly, though it reminds me of every relationship I've been in.

I guess love themes are the same. The love, the hate, the guilt.

I've had the kind where you feel bad for treating the other person badly, but you really just didn't know how to say "no" and be completely honest with the other person and yourself. Or the one where you hate the other person for not trying enough. Or the one you always had to support and encourage because he didn't feel confident enough about himself, like ever. Or the one you could just never forget no matter how hard you've tried.

I've stayed angry for so long at my last relationship victim, when little by little, I guess as I grow, I realize I was probably just as much at fault as he was. So despite all the love and all the anger, I guess I'm really just sorry for everything. It's just easier to blame the other person when you've been through so much hurt.

It's been a while since I've been sick like this, and even though it sucks, I feel like I get sick when my body really just needs a break. So times like this I just feel relieved. It's exactly the excuse I need to stay in bed and sleep for hours on end without feeling too badly about it. As long as I don't get a fever I won't worry about swine flu.

Still, I try and wash my hands before touching people or people's things.

Back to my letters.