Hisashiburi!

Holy geez, it's been forever since I posted last.

I had a lot of great ideas but things have kind of exploded here and I've been so suddenly busy that time has just flown by and I barely realized it.

I wanted to blog about growing up labeled HG, about working in the prisons, about my future in nonprofit and law, but I'm going to procrastinate on that all since I feel exhausted now and just want to post something as an update.

Lots has happened in the past almost-month. Taiko is super duper busy now, we're prepping for a couple of big things in November, and on the 14th we're doing this slew of new taiko projects, including a collaboration with Bharata Natyam. It's my favorite kind of classical Indian dance - except we actually have to DANCE it. Somehow I, unlike other taiko members, got sucked into doing it with 2-3 other girls, except I SUCK real bad and can't even follow during class. It's really discouraging but they won't let me quit! I'm really good at playing the drum part, but they're seriously making me dance and it's super frustrating. This rarely happens, but this is one of those things that I REALLY don't want to do...only I'm stuck and it sucks balls foreal.

I'd like to give a big Fuck You to this situation - to not being able to do it and just being tired. (I still love Bharata though)

Also my back is all messed up so I was kind of in a foul mood, not wanting to be at the practice tonight.

Felt like such a waste of time.

Aside from being a Debbie Downer about that one....

work has been good, Kelsey's time here was amazing and such a blast as always, I've been getting better at fue, taiko gigs have been going well, and I've been seeing someone new.

Life is good, really, I can't complain.

Melissa came to visit me, and it was great, it was so nice to see her after a whole year, and she got me thinking all about Law School, and rejuvenated my Progressivism. (sorry about the cin gum, melissa, I still feel bad about that)

All that's left to do is await the impending dilemma - Progressive politics, or financial security?

I think I'll be good, all the way up until it's time to graduate and really find a job. Public Interest would satisfy my integrity, my need to fulfill my personal political and social responsibilities, to work in social justice and be happy that way. But the pay is absolutely unreal, and after living out here on my own, I know firsthand the difficulties that come with long hours and low pay. It's really frustrating sometimes, especially when you can't afford the things you NEED in life, much less the little luxuries that help relieve everyday stress. It might seem superficial, but real talk, it's not. This a serious life consideration for me.

A private law firm would address that money problem, paying nearly twice as much in salary, but I would have to sellout in some way and to some degree at least...and honestly right now I don't know which would make me happier (or sadder). It's like this lose-lose situation I'll have to face sometime soon.

I'm excited to start the process, but like I told Mom, I guess I'll just cross that bridge when I get there. Maybe more in a later post, too.

Feeling like I'm becoming more attached to the island - picking up the speak, loving the people, appreciating the land - but I still have this unbreakable connection to home and dedication to my career plans, so little by little I guess I'm accepting that my time here will have to come to an end. i.e. I'll be ready in March to be back in LA.

We'll see where everything is in 5 and a half months or so.