GOOD MORNING

Damn, I am looking forward to my 4 day weekend big time. Thank you Memorial Day for the extra day off.

Ah, the perks of working part-time.

I'm not gonna lie, it's been a rough and tough 2 weeks, trying to figure out the name of this Council game and really grappling with my mixed feelings about my new-found employment.  I kind of feel like everything I had envisioned myself doing in this time just didn't pan out because of my own decisions.

CHOICES.  That's what life's all about, isn't it?  Those, and then those things that come after them.  Yeah, that.  Consequences.

When it came down to it I chose convenience and instant gratification over the waiting game, because I'm sure that is how it would have been otherwise...or at least so I think I would LIKE to think.

But the latter half of this week has proven to be pretty fruitful.  I know now that I can do this job well, and considering this is still a small and budding organization, there is still hope.

Kind of ironic, isn't it, how I wrote and gabbed all that stuff about the JA community, and suddenly I find myself thrown into the midst of everything I complained about?  Maybe it's karma for my college-aged arrogance and audacity.

Maybe this'll teach me exactly what I need to learn to really know what I want the rest of my life...or at least for the next few years or so.

Little by little it's coming together, but I guess it always tends to work that way.

Then talking to supportive friendsies like Aya, Dok and Scott always is good for lifting spirits.  YAY for friends, foreal.

Meanwhile, home life is dumb.  Not in the "I hate my parents" kind of way at all...but more like, they're cutting open the walls to replace our pipes and the family decides to STAY HOME while this is all happening!

Dumb = from 7 am - 4 pm, everyday for 2 weeks, we have no use of any water in the house, so even on my day off, when I just want to stay home and SLEEP...I have to get out and find a place to use the damn bathroom.  Not to mention brush my teeth and then otherwise just chill.  Anyone want to volunteer their place?

K thanks.

Life just never stops with all of the things to ponder and figure out.  It's a good thing most of the time, but sometimes, like now, it's pretty baffling.  I feel like I'm sort of in this mess trying to figure out the direction of my life.

One big transition.  From the time I left Hawai'i, that fateful April 13, until who knows when, I'm sort of just doodling blind.  Hands over the eyes, pen to the paper, and draw.  Except those pictures end up being all the things I'm doing in my life.  Then when it's all over, look at the picture and see where I went, what I did, and I can only hope it'll all make sense.

That magical end product.

It'd better be magical.

Speaking of magic, hoping for that Disneyland trip on June 12th!  Crossing my fingers.


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Catty

I want a lot for myself.

There's so much I can do if only given the chance, and I want to know that I can challenge myself instead of always taking the easy road out, and do whatEVER I focus my energy on and decide to do.  Not only will I do it, but I'll own the shit out of it.

Leave a trail of fire in my wake.

It feels like my life is taking a bit of a detour from the road I had really hoped for, but everything happens for a reason and I am determined to make this all meld together beautifully. (i.e. more than "make it work.")

It's too early to feel the way I do, but I think it's only because I've been spoiled by 2 fun but somewhat complacent, years in Hawai'i.

I'll show them what I can do, if it's the last thing I ever do.  And take my word for it, it won't be the last thing.

From the other side

Two? Three? weeks later, and I've been home for quite a while now.

Reconnecting with folks, getting readjusted, trying to stay productive, seeking out a new job and niche in my new (old) city....it's definitely been a task of no easy measure, but I would say I'm slowly getting used to it all.

I always get the inevitable "Do you miss Hawaii?" question and of course the answer is yes.  I miss my home, my friends, taiko, my sig other.  And home feels so different now, presumably because I'm (a little) different now, it's almost like my third city of residence.

But, home IS still home, and I think the best part has been having close access to friends and family again.  It's very comforting in a lot of ways, and in the time that I've been back in some ways I have a new appreciation for things.

And anyway, knowing I'll be back to visit (and work) for a few days is comforting.  Seeing those most important to me will be so amazing, I can't even express my excitement.

Lots of things to figure out, in the way of, well, LIFE, but I guess that's just how it always goes.  It'll be interesting to find out the answers to all of my questions.