From my work blog, "US and Them"

I should have posted the original entry here, but I thought it would add some nice spice to my other one.

http://candiceusjc.blogspot.com/2010/11/progressive-rant-or-maybe-whine.html

Check it out.

Where do I belong?

Just watched a clip of an old performance by KETE (Kenny Endo Taiko Ensemble)...and it made me long for Hawai'i and that taiko group again.

I've been feeling dissatisfied here in LA, to an extent that I can't quite figure out.  In Hawai'i I felt like I had really found myself and figured out my life.  I knew that my stay in Honolulu would be temporary, but I discovered my passion for taiko and was ready to reclaim my future in a law career once relocating to Los Angeles, a place I considered home, while also figuring out a way to stay involved in taiko through groups here.

But lately, home has felt...weird, in taiko, and socially.  I don't feel comfortable or at home here.  I think I'm discovering that everything I thought taiko would be here in Los Angeles isn't, and instead, despite its shortcomings, I really want to be back in Honolulu playing with TCP and KETE.  I loved teaching there, I loved being with the group, and sure, it got unbearable and frustrating at times and I couldn't wait to leave, but it got me thinking.  If one day I relocated to Hawai'i as an attorney, it might not be so bad.  Perhaps start an ACLU chapter over there?

Okay, so it was hard for me to be politically active in Honolulu, which was part of why I was dissatisfied with that experience, so I'm definitely being idealistic here.  Plus, I think memory has been kind to my time there, mainly because my time here has proven difficult and well, just different.

I think my taiko experience so far has been at the root of my feeling dissatisfied and somewhat unhappy lately, but there's just something else that I haven't been able to explain.

I want to say it also has to do with my closest friends being away and feeling like they're inaccessible for a while, and life now is just not what I thought it would be, causing a sensation of being unhappy or discontent with my situation now.  In Honolulu I hung out with my close friends regularly, whether after practices or on weekends.  Here, everyone in LA is away or too busy or inaccessible or I'm too busy or away or inaccessible, and so I'm left with that.

Dok has been wonderful though, in taking care of me despite his own hardships, so I really am grateful for that.  I think Honolulu can always figure into my future law career (i.e. if not law school there, relocate to Honolulu to take the HI state bar exam after passing CA, crossing my fingers) in some way, and if I decide that's what I want, it's always a possibility.  For now though, I have to stick with this and make it work.

In other news, this entry has been interrupted by a knock on my door.  MY BUSINESS CARDS ARE HERE!  WITH MY NAME ON THEM!!!

I love work.

Women

As a side note, I now have a work-related blog to place many of the articles and relevant thoughts that come across my desk.  It's mostly US-Japan related topics of course, but with a global perspective, many other factors inevitably come into play.

Most recently, this topic of women in the workplace.  It's one of the main topics our organization has been tackling, and there is actually a group of women affiliated with, or a part of, our organization, that are dedicating to researching and collaborating on this, figuring out how to work with Japanese women, how it affects both the US and Japan, strategizing, planning, etc.

But what frustrated me, mainly today, was a report I received via email regarding the trends that are affecting Japanese women today.  These trends, no doubt, are affecting women, but the kinds of things that are attributed to women are so surface level, and not really delving into the real issues that cause women to bear social hardship, particularly in the workplace.

There's even a comparison drawn to "Eat Pray Love," and, admittedly, because of all the race-gender-class perspectives I read about on that movie, it made me think that we can't really talk about women without addressing the rest of those lenses.

Within the organization as it pertains to this topic, there are discussions on how corporations are helping women advance by taking into consideration their diverse backgrounds and needs, "challenging" the status quo, encouraging a progressive working environment....

Although at face value, and probably to most people, it sounds great and exciting and effective, when we really take it apart, it's not challenging anything.  Sure, working within the system is great, especially for big corporations like Deloitte, but to say they're challenging the status quo especially is a longshot.  Corporations are, inherently, not only a part of, but upholding status quo.  This, of course, should go without saying.

So really when I see things like this "report" - which, it is worth noting, was put together by Japanese businesswomen and researchers but is being distributed and presented by a man - it's frustrating.  Where is the real work to address these women, and why isn't our organization questioning these things?

Of course, as a nonpartisan nonprofit organization I suppose that would complicate things too much. It would offend our membership, our corporate sponsors (we even have defense corps donating major funds), and all those other important people who benefit the most from the status quo.  Challenge the system?  Are you kidding? It just goes to show how a non-progressive organization can sometimes just prove...well, ineffective for people like me.